“Hugs”

7 Jun

DJ and Rob play really nicely together.

Well, they play really nicely considering that they’re three years apart and in very different developmental stages.

Mostly that means that they tolerate each other really well and DJ has pretty much always treated his little brother with a lot of love and little jealousy.

But one thing they don’t do well is hug.

For some reason, I have no clue why, Rob doesn’t like it when his older brother comes into his bubble for a hug. Never has. I’ll encourage DJ to give Rob a hug and invariably Rob grunts discontentedly and pushes DJ away.

So, it’s rare to see DJ in Rob’s bubble for reasons of affection. If DJ is in Rob’s bubble it’s so they can share a toy or throw stuffed animals at each other.

It’s an area of secret mommy discontent. Not a big one, just a little one. I want them to hug!!!! I’ve even spent some time thinking about it, trying to figure out why Rob refuses to be hugged by DJ and never initiates a hug with him. I mean, I know they’re boys, and we’re not a very touchy-feely bunch to begin with, but I feel like if they don’t hug each other now they’re going to grow up thinking that farting near each other is the only appropriate sign of affection.

But lately that seems to be changing.

Over the weekend it was too quiet in the living room. So, of course, I went to check on them, expecting to find them using books from my English degree as stepping stones or something.

Instead they were doing this:

They were cuddled up on the couch together, with all their lovies, watching a cartoon.

So not only were they sharing personal space in an affectionate way, but they were sharing their lovies. (Sorry there’s not a better picture, but I only got one before I spoiled the moment with my picture taking.)

I was one happy Momma seeing the two of them on the couch together. It was all the reassurance I needed that there is an affectionate connection between the two of them … just rarely seen.

It wasn’t a hug, but it was a cuddle and after almost two and a half years of little brotherly love I took what they gave each other for what it was and moved on. I told my secret mommy discontent to freak out about something else.

Last night Rob was giving Jesse and I hugs. He walked up to us with his arms wide open, said “hugs,” and collapsed his arms around our legs while burying his face in our thighs. This is typical. He gives us hugs all the time, just not DJ. (In fact, he gives me hugs almost every day after I change his diaper. I love it. It’s a non-verbal “Thanks for cleaning my butt, Mom.”)

But then he turned around, saw DJ and walked over to him and said “hugs.” DJ just stood there, dumbfounded, looking up at Jesse and I like “For real? Did he just burst the affection bubble all on his own?” before he put his arms around his little brother.

It’s the first time I’ve ever seen them voluntarily hug each other and have it not end in violence. They hugged, parted, and then …

Then Rob took his big brother’s hand and they walked, hand in hand, into the living room.

And I cried, big fat happy Momma tears.